It will always be okay to not be okay. You are not alone. Like seriously…. the odds are for you. I see you. Sitting alone in your car parked in your driveway with the keys still in the ignition. I see you taking a few deep breathes while you gather the courage to go inside and smile. And I see you mama hiding in the kitchen pantry sneaking treats because it’s 20 minutes before bedtime and you just need one last sugar rush to make it until you can finally rest.
I know your thoughts are dark. You’re head seems like a jumbled up mess. I know you don’t wanna say anything out loud because you are worried that people will think you are ungrateful. You worry that people will judge you for being your real you.
Again, I say you are not alone. It will always okay to not be okay. Let me repeat that for the mama’s in the back- It is OKAY to not be OKAY. And it is also okay to say something about it. It is okay to feel like your insides are bursting at the seam and you just need to scream. Your mental health matters, you matter.
Mothering can be the most isolating job in the world; it can be the most difficult marathon you will ever train for. The most important thing you can do for yourself, but more importantly your children…. is to get the help you need. No mother should be left suffering in silence. No mother should fear that their problems are too big or too small.
Motherhood should never result in suicide. It should never result in death. It is 2020 and we are still walking around like that world isn’t connected to us through our fingertips… yet women are still dying. Women are still choosing death over life in a day and age were everything is instant and everyone is connected.
I am here to tell you, you are not alone. Chances are somewhere, someplace their is another mom that is standing in your exact same shoes wondering how she will dig herself out of the pit that she is standing in. You might not know her. You may never speak to her, however, in world of 7.8 billion people the odd are for you. So while you might not be able to speak to someone in person in this moment that has been on a similar journey as you… just know that she exists.
I hope you can find peace in knowing that you are not alone. Also know that the world is a much better place with you here. Your story is much better told by you and your children are complete and whole when you are near them.
So please, take a deep breath, place your shaking hand on your chest and feel that beating heart of yours and remember that a tiny piece of that beating heart is running around outside of your body. And those tiny humans that hold the pieces of your heart, they need you. They need their mama. You are not alone.
Please know, I am always a message away. Also know that 1:5 mothers experience symptoms of PMAD; so you are not alone. Here are some helpful links to those moms struggling with Prenatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders.
www.cherishedmom.org
www.postpartum.net
www.postpartrumva.org
www.bloomfoundation.com
